If you are a Tony Robbins fan then you probably already know about the “Art of Fulfilment”. For years we have seen Tony Robbins as a master of achievement. But during the last year and a half he has started sharing a strategy that has helped him to diminish suffering and increase well-being. He shares some of it in his Q&A video regarding the new Joe Berlinger documentary, “Tony Robbins – I am not Your Guru“.
What is the “Art of Fulfilment”?
The basic idea is well expressed in the often used metaphor, even by Tony Robbins, of putting the oxygen mask on yourself first and then helping others with their masks, in case of an emergency on a plane. You need to first tend to your needs, and only then help others. When we make sure we fulfil our own needs and put ourselves in a good feeling place, then everything becomes much easier. We have access to a broader perspective and can solve any problem in a more efficient way than if we are in a state of lack.
Not only do we get access to a broader perspective, but we also feel better. Feeling good and happy we automatically share this attitude with others and help them find their joy, just by being our happy selves. But this only works in a powerful way when we truly enjoy a sense of inner peace and fulfilment.
The trap of empty success
There are plenty of people who achieve success, and yet inner fulfilment escapes them. Tony Robbins talks about Robin Williams, who was a brilliant achiever in so many areas in his life, and yet not quite reaching the level of inner joy, as demonstrated by him taking his own life.
Even people who only achieve more moderate levels of success can sometimes feel a momentary elation and then plummet back into a feeling of lack. Have you ever had the feeling that “if you only had that …(insert whatever desire)..you would be happy”? And if you were lucky enough to actually get that thing, you probably quickly noticed that it gave you a boost of happiness, but did not make you joyous for the rest of your days. Why? What is missing? How do you get the fulfilment together with the achievement?
Learning more about finding fulfilment
To really understand why it is we often miss the fulfilment and continue suffering in spite of success we need to understand what it is we truly want. There is a three video series that goes into the details of how to find the essence of what we really want. Here is the first of the videos:
The key is to realize that what we essentially want is the feeling of fulfilment, and not the outer manifestation of something that would potentially bring fulfilment. Once this becomes clear we can set the goal to start working with our feelings and emotions. When they become a priority, other things start to fall into place.
But, we need to really get the fact that the joy we are seeking is created by us, in us. Otherwise all of this remains a distant theory and it becomes difficult to know how to act on it.
For those wishing to develop this deeper understanding, and interested in learning how to take action on it, the book “Choose Joy – On Joy and Freedom for the Logically Minded” will be a treasure.